Do you struggle with writing? I often do. It’s National Novel Writing Month, so I’m trying to make a more conscious effort to record my thoughts.
This led me to think about the idea of trust. So often, our inability to write isn’t from a lack of things to say as much as it’s a fear of trusting ourselves to be smart enough or credible in what we’re saying.
Have you ever had that out of body experience where you’re talking, it’s going well and you almost stop and think “wait, is it ME sounding that smart?” I have that from time to time and it comes from not always trusting yourself.
The other thing I’ve experienced is the phenomenon where you don’t know how prepared someone else is, so you want t interrupt them to get it right. I don’t do this much ever because it’s rude, but when you’re playing doubles on a tennis court with someone unfamiliar..you want you have their back. Sometimes so much that you get in their way.
Let people work through their paces. Sometimes, getting your footing is a matter of planting your feet and having everything where it needs to be. But you can’t do that if someone else is always intervening.
This week, trust yourself and write that thing you’d been meaning to share. You just don’t know who’ll be impacted.
People are fond of asking one-person bands about how they’re able to keep track of everything. Whether you’re a solo or not, it’s not always easy when you’ve embraced the job full bore and don’t know which way to go.
Managing personalities is a full-time job. If solos know anything, it’s you have to manage personalities if you’re going to be successful. Whereas others have teams to fall back on, if you’re having to maintain fragile relationships, you can’t afford to burn bridges when you have to rely on those people to assist you on core parts of your day to day responsibilities. While it’d be lovely if we could separate these things, the reality is, we’re not and you need to navigate these interactions with dexterity.
When we feel overwhelmed it’s important to have things outside of work that center us. We all take pride in our jobs. But it’s not always the work that gets us. It’s the Buy Viagra side projects and ancillary things we do in connection with the job. The committees, the extra assignments and stuff we do to help others that will often be the culprit in knocking us down.
It takes patience and finding ways to keep ourselves afloat. Hustle is hope, but so is taking downtime for yourself. If you’re like me, sometimes that means spinning between one project to the next trying to figure out WHAT you should be doing. I have friends who feel downright guilty for focusing on themselves. But self-reflection, quiet and space are too critical for you not to take time.
Head to a conference, get to know others and enjoy your time. But remember to take a few deep breaths and figure out who you are. What matters to you and what’s important. Centering yourself will make you better and give you the balance you need to keep yourself from falling completely off the seesaw.
So our third episode of SoloLive on the Higher Ed Live aired on September 17th. On this episode, Michelle Tarby joined Tonya and Cialis I to talk about the conference experience for Solos. Will you be at #HEWEB13 in Buffalo? Tweet us @higheredsolo and let us know!